Speaking of Courage

   In the story, Speaking of Courage, the death of Kiowa is explained in detail and how Norman Bowker felt about it. This was yet, another story that made me feel pretty sad. I’m still waiting for the story, that’s going to make me smile. But I don’t think I’m going to get a story like that. Anyway, Norman continued to drive around this lake, throughout the whole story. I didn’t understand the purpose of it, but I guess it helped him “tell” what happened to him and Kiowa that night. There was a lot of repetition, as he described everything that was around him. The lake, the houses, Sally Kramer, Sunset Park, the radio, the two boys hiking, his father, and many other things were repeated throughout the whole story. All of the repeating, was a little boring. I guess that’s how his life must be, after he left the war. Doing the same things, following a routine. I guess he is still trying to transition himself back into the real world, twenty something years after the war.

   It was also hard to transition in and out of the story he told about Kiowa, to him in the present. One minute, we’re driving around the lake and the next minute, we’re back in Vietnam, in the “shit field” on that horrible night. It was kind of confusing, but know that I read back, the transition from past to present, well past to past is better. They way Kiowa died, blew me away! I would’ve never thought that that was a possible way of dying. When I read that, I had to close the book and walk away. That’s just horrific. I thought I maybe read something wrong or I let my imagination get the best of me. So I had to reread, like I’ve been doing throughout the whole novel. I read everything correct, but I wished I didn’t. I can see why Bowker, didn’t want to tell anyone this story. Even if he did, I’d doubt that anyone would believe. I don’t even think that his dad fully believed him. Maybe the thought of no one would care and the effects of the war, ultimately led to the death of Norman.

Stockings-Style

   I really enjoyed the story Stockings, because it gave more insight into the character Henry Dobbins. He is introduced earlier in the book, as the guy who wears his girlfriend’s stockings around his neck. When I read about that, I thought he was a little crazy. But now, I understand why he wears them. Dobbins used those pantyhose as a coping mechanism. I guess those pantyhose, made him feel secure and safe. Maybe the other soldiers should have carried around something, out in the open like Henry. Maybe it would’ve helped them deal with the war better. I was quite sad, when his girlfriend broke up with him. But, Henry kept on wearing the stockings after that. I think I would’ve kept on wearing them too. They seemed like the only thing that was keeping him sane, out at war.

   Dobbins and Kiowa are mentioned further in the story Church. I like how this story focuses mainly on these two characters because, as readers, we don’t really get to hear about them. Dobbins admits that he actually thought about becoming a minister. At first I thought he was joking, but as the chapter went on, I believed him. I couldn’t picture a big, strong guy like Henry actually wanting to be a gentle monk. I could also see why, he’d want to. Being in war, killing people, probably would make anybody want to live the rest of their life peacefully. Being a preacher is the right way to go! Kiowa, was the right guy that Henry talked to because, he knows all about it. Kiowa is a Baptist, and has been involved in the church, for his whole life probably. After the war, maybe the two of them should come back and meet up with the monks. Maybe, they would make a great team!

   The Man I Killed, was a sad story. The man Tim O’Brien killed, really had an affect on him. He just sat there and looked at him. Not looked, but stared at him, for hours it seemed like. At first I felt sympathy for the man that Tim killed, but I couldn’t help feeling sympathy for him as well. Tim really did not want to kill this young man. The way he kept describing how the young boy looked, was traumatizing. He just sat there and stared. What else could he do? I don’t think that I would’ve sat and stared, because it’s to gruesome to picture. But the things that was so peculiar was, that Tim stated out facts about the young man, like he knew him. It was his first time in Vietnam, so how did he know all of that information? Maybe when he returned from the war, he looked him and his family up. Maybe the death of that young man had such an impact on him, that he made all of those things up, to try to make himself feel better. I don’t know…the only thing I know is that this story made me not want to continue reading L

   In the story Ambush, Tim goes deeper in detail about what all happened when he killed the young man. I can picture the whole scene, as Tim describes it. I know it’s weird but it seems familiar to me. Like I’ve seen it in a movie or something. I can picture the foggy night, and the harmless young man appearing on the trail. I don’t blame O’Brien for what he did. I would’ve punked out and probably would’ve gotten myself or someone else killed. I believe he was brave for doing that. He didn’t know that he wasn’t a threat. He was just following senseless orders, which were to kill the enemy. O’Brien was really nervous about killing the young man. I didn’t think he was going to go through with it at first but, I guess he had no choice. It’s amazing that O’Brien still thinks about the young man. It’s quite creepy but I guess things like that stay with a person, especially if that person has never killed before.

   Style was another story that left me confused. I didn’t really understand why, this young girl was “dancing” around, after her family was killed. I don’t think she was just simply dancing because she remembered a song. I think that was her way of mourning her family. Maybe, dancing around like that when loved ones die, is a tradition or “ritual”. This story not only confused me, but made me dislike Azar even more. He had no right to mock that young girl. There was a part of me, that wished Henry or another soldier beat him up. I wished that Henry actually through him in the well. I know that’s not very nice of me, but I guess war stories have their effect on me too…

Sweetheart of the Song Tra Bong

   This is my favorite story, thus far! I know, I said that about another story but this one is the best! It was also the weirdest story, I’ve read. I must admit, that I was confused at the beginning of this story. Well, I wasn’t as confused, as usual when I begin a new story. I just had to start over and get the all the details that I missed, when I read the first time.

   Vietnam had changed people like Mark Fossie, Rat Kiley, the other soldiers, but ultimately, Nam changed Mary Anne Bell. At first, I thought that this change was a bad thing but, it’s actually not. Being in Vietnam, changed Mary in ways that can’t be explained or understood. Not even Rat, the narrator of this story understood what fully went on with her. I believe that it was a change for the good. It’s really sad, that Mark lost the love of his life to the war. The saddest part is that, Mary decided to go. She decided to leave him and everything else behind, that wasn’t Vietnam. I mean, who could fully blame her? At first I blamed Mark, for bringing her over, to stay with him. He was the one that let her be where all the action was. He let her “roam around the compound asking questions” (95). On the other hand, he could have sheltered her from all of that, but Mary Anne was, “curious about things” (95) and would have found the answers to all of her questions somehow. In my opinion, the person who led Mary Anne down this path was, herself.

   I was quite surprised at how much she enjoyed everything. When she was first introduced, I got the impression that she wouldn’t enjoy her stay in Vietnam. That the only reason she came, was to see her love. I believe she probably thought the same things, when she first stepped, onto the soils of Vietnam. The way she picked up on everything was very impressive. Not only to me, but to all the guys that was there. I guess the reason it was so impressive was, the time period and situation she was in. The war waged on from 1955-1975. During those years, women were not associated with war or independence, in any way what so ever. So, to see her take on all of that responsibility, when she wasn’t even expected to, was amazing!

   What was the most shocking and weird thing was Mary Anne’s transformation. She started out, as this pretty blonde girl, to this wild Vietnam spirit. The reason I said spirit, is because she just disappeared at the end. I don’t believe she died, I believe that she just became apart of everything that was Vietnam. The land, the people, the cultures, the war. She became apart of all of those things. It’s really beautiful in a twisted way. Vietnam changed Mary Anne Bell forever. 

The Dentist

The Dentist....what can I say about this story? Other than the fact that Curt Lemon is a peculiar character. I don’t understand why he enjoys pain so much. If he was afraid of the Dentist, then why would he go back to get a tooth pulled for no reason? Maybe, he wanted to do it, to cover up when he fainted. Maybe he did it, so no one would think, that he was a punk. I have no definite reason for his doing. I just would’ve tried to forget the situation, and move on. Being afraid of the dentist, is nothing compared to being in war. It was also kind of funny that he fainted. He’s supposed to be this guy that, “pulled off some dangerous stunts”  but he was afraid to get a check up. But, I can understand where he’s coming from. I’m not to fond of clowns. Especially the ones that resemble “It the Clown”. I would’ve cried, then passed out if I had to do anything with him! I guess this chapter showed more insight into, Curt Lemon as a person. Even though he was portrayed as this fearless soldier, he was still a human being, with fears. His fear just happened to be the Dentist.

How To Tell a True War Story

When reading this, I had to slow down. I actually had to start over like three or four times because, I just didn’t understand everything. On every page, there was something new he said that confused me to the point that I had to reread the page, from the beginning. O’Brien first starts off saying that this war story is true. So, how is this true when the novel is fiction? I didn’t understand, and still don’t understand what he meant there. Then he begins to tell the story about Rat Kiley’s best friend Curt Lemon dies. A week after his friend is killed; Rat Kiley writes a letter to Curt’s sister. He explains to her, how much of a hero her brother was and how much he loved him. Rat has a hard time writing the letter. I totally understand how and why he feels that way. If I lost my best friend, I don’t think I would be strong enough to write a letter, talking about how much I loved her. But, he perservered through it, and sends it off to his sister. Two months pass, and his sister never writes back. Kiley calls the sister a “dumb cooze.” I didn’t know what a “cooze” meant, but I’m sure it has some bad connotations. I looked up the definition, but I can’t put it up here, because it’s a little too inappropriate for a school assignment.
   O’Brien insists that a true war story is not moral. A true war story tells us not to believe a story that seems moral. He uses Kiley’s actions as an example of how war stories aren’t moral. He explains that Curt died from steeping on a rigged mortar round. The way O’Brien explained him dying was almost beautiful. “…when he died it was almost beautiful, the way the sunlight came around him and lifted him up and sucked him high into a tree full of moss and vines and white blossoms.” At first, I thought the sun killed him, which would be a much more beautiful way of dying. Throughout the rest of the story, O’Brien mentions Lemon’s death. I think his death is a metaphor for how war is not moral or beautiful. When O’Brien tells this story to people, they seem to say things like, I “liked it”, or they “hate war stories”. For some reason, its women that he tells this story to. I wouldn’t think that a woman would appreciate or like a war story like a man would. Maybe men are tired of hearing war stories. O’Brien wishes he could tell the woman that the story wasn’t a war story, but a love story. I see what he means here. The friendship Kiley and Lemon shared, the way Rat got upset at his Lemon’s sister for not writing back, was love. I wish that all these stories had more love than war in them…    

Enemies and Friends

I love how the stories Enemies and Friends intertwine with one another. These two stories are about how two men, on the same team, become enemies and then friends again. Hence, the titles of the stories. These two stories show how much war can effect people.


   The fight between Jensen and Strunk, proves how hard war can be. They fought over a jackknife, which to me was not necessary at all. It was a waste of time and energy. I felt so bad for Strunk, when Jensen broke his nose, hitting him repeatedly without mercy. That had to be a horrible sight and feeling. While Strunk is one to get his nose fixed up, Jensen becomes a little paranoid. He should be! First off, you’re fighting a war, in a foreign country. Shouldn’t you be focused on trying to stay alive, instead of a jackknife? If I was in that situation, I would’ve been like, look man I’m trying to stay alive! So if and when we get back home, we can fight all day and night over it, but right now isn’t the right time! Maybe, I’d get beaten up after saying that but, I stood my ground! When Strunk gets back, Jenson becomes like crazy super paranoid! He watches everything that Strunk does, and he watches everywhere he goes. So finally one night, he borrows a pistol and uses it to break his own nose in order to make things even between them. The next morning, Strunk admits that he did steal Jensen’s jackknife! What is wrong with him? I felt bad for him at first, but now I think he kind of deserved that whopping from Jensen!


   In the story Friends, Dave Jensen and Lee Strunk learn to trust each other. They actually make a pact, that says that if one of them gets hurt or wounded, the other would kill him and put him out of his misery. That’s some serious friendship! It’s almost funny that their friendship was based on beating each up and getting their noses broken. One day in October, Lee’s lower leg gets blown off by a mortar round. I guess Dave had to get ready to fulfill their agreement, when all of a sudden Lee started to beg him not to kill him. I totally did not expect that. I also didn’t expect Dave to be so nice and gentle with him. I thought he was going to kill him, when he bent down beside him. But instead, he promised that he wouldn’t. So later, Strunk was taken away by a chopper to get fixed up, again. But, Dave and the others learned that Lee passed away. Dave was very relieved to hear the news and to my surprise, so was I. I wasn’t happy that he passed away, I was just happy that Jensen didn’t have to carry out their agreement. But would he actually do it? After hurting Lee, being paranoid about it, then hurting himself, would he actually end his life? I really don’t believe he could have went through with it. I don’t think him or any of the others could deal with another bad image from the war, on their minds, hearts, and conscience. War really can have an affect on people, and I’m so grateful that I’m not apart of it! 

On the Rainy River

   This story was hard to read, and hard for Tim to talk about. In this story, “On The Rainy River,” the author Tim O’Brien tells about his experiences and how his relationship with a single person had effected his life so dramatically. It’s crazy that one person can have so much impact on someone. That they can make them change the course of their life. I’ve had many, many people that has done the same for me, through my eighteen years of life. O’Brien speaks about his experiences with a man by the name of Elroy Berdahl, the owner of the fishing lodge that O’Brien stays at while on a journey to find himself. The experiences O’Brien has while he's there, helps him to open his mind and realize what his true personal identity was. In this short story, O’Brien has to decide whether he was either going to go to the war and fight or was he going to run away and avoid the draft. I disagree with Tim and his whole idea, if a person that's afraid or doesn't go to war is a coward. I don’t think a person is being afraid or dishonorable if he or she doesn’t want to go and get killed. I think that’s smart! I would’ve considered the same thing as Tim did.   The relationship he had with Berdahl was not of friends or even regular acquaintances. Rather they were perfect strangers. That goes to show you that anyone can be a major influence on your life.

Love and Spin

   I actually enjoyed Love.  My dislike of this book is slowly fading away. Many years after the war, Cross goes to visit Tim O’Brien at his home in Massachusetts. They both catch up with coffee and cigarettes. As they were reminiscing, they come across a photo of Ted Lavender. Ted confessed that he never has forgiven himself for Lavender’s death. To his and my surprise, Tim feels the same way. It must be really hard to carry around so much grief and guilt for so many years. In a weird kind of way, I felt guilty and sad for Ted Lavender’s death. Like I was there and I didn’t or couldn’t help him. With the help of some gin, they began to laugh and reminisce about the some good times. Like when Dobbins used to wear his girlfriends stockings around his neck. As the night progressed, Tim asked about Martha. When he did that, I went “OH NO”. I didn’t know how Cross was going to take it but, he seemed pretty calm about it. He tells O’Brien that they met up at a college reunion in 1979. On that night of the reunion, he admitted to Martha that, on the night of their only date, after they watched Bonnie and Clyde, he wanted to take her home and tie her to her bed so he could touch her knee all night long. That was very, very creepy and I wouldn’t know how to respond if I was Martha. She plainly replied saying, that she doesn’t understand how men could do things like that. The next day, she apologized and gave him another photograph and told him not to burn it. Cross tells O’Brien that he still loves Martha. As O’Brien walks Cross to his car, he tells him that he would like to write a story about some of what they’ve talked about. Cross agrees, saying that maybe Martha will read it and come begging for him. He asks O’Brien to make him out as a brave and good leader. He then asks O’Brien for a favor—that he not “mention anything about—.” O’Brien then promises that he won’t.
   In the chapter Titled Spin, Tim shares many stories of the War. Some were pleasant, but most were not at all. Like when, Mitchell Sanders sits under a tree, picking lice off his body and depositing them in an envelope addressed to his Ohio draft committee. That was quite horrible to picture. Then, O’Brien stops to talk about himself. He says that he is forty-three years old and a writer. He believes that these bad memories continue to live on and never stop happening. He daughter pleads that he should write about, “a little girl who finds a million dollars and spends it all on a Shetland pony”. I totally agree with her, because a pony is a much better topic than war. He begins to reminisce about other things that happened in the war like; an old Vietnamese man whom they call a “poppa-san” guided them through the mine fields. Afterwards, they all embraced him for keeping them alive. The chapter gets more depressing by the turn of a page. O’Brien then goes deeper and deeper into his memories from the war. They all were about death, which made me quite sad. Spin is not my favorite chapter at all.

The Things They Carried- Chp 1

   In AP Literature, we are a reading a novel called, The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien. To be completely honest, I'm not to excited about it. It's a book about war, the Vietnam War to be exact. I’m not really into war, death, killing, and all the other components that are associated with war. So, I'm not exactly thrilled about this. Clary said that before reading this novel, she wasn't into war either. This book must be pretty good if it changed someone's whole perspective on a subject like this. I’m trusting her and her judgment of this book. She seems to really enjoy it, so it must not be too bad. But then again, she really loves Macbeth, and I don’t like it very much. Maybe I shouldn’t go by her or anyone else’s  judgment, and just follow my own. That’s what I am going to continue to do, for the rest of the reading: follow my own judgment.
   Anyway, when I began to read the first chapter, it brought back the feeling when we first were assigned to read this book; the feeling of boredom and disgust. I didn’t expect the first page to start off talking about something else other than war. This changed my feelings a bit. But by page four I was hooked! All the things they had to carry for survival blew my mind! I never knew that soldiers had to basically carry their homes with them. Not just physical, but emotional baggage too. All their feelings and dreams, added extra weight on to the 100 plus pounds they were already carrying. When I finished reading chapter one, I had to close the book and find something to get my mind off of it. About twenty minutes later, I found myself on You Tube, looking for footage on the Vietnam War. I guess the whole point of this blog, is to thank Clary for making us read this book. I’m really enjoying it so far!!
<3 LBD